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    September 16

    People Always Leave

     
        暑假回校,惊讶发现身边最友好的两个朋友消失了.Aaron因注册问题这个秋季无法回来,YJ转到另一个州去.
        并非身边朋友不多,但试问,知己又何以容易寻得?孤独笼罩在心里足足一个多星期.
        没有时刻支持自己给予自己建议的他们,没有一起上班下班看电影买东西寻找新朋友圈子的他们.
        然后昨天是爱乐乐团的第一天.苦于缺乏课后时间,交响乐团进不了.发现自己被调到第二小提琴处.旁边是去年寒假认识但是一直没互相打招呼的Gretch,今天冰块终于破了.
        因为需要教授帮忙换琴弦,所以训练后跟教授谈.换琴弦时,教授开口:"Martin,我感到很抱歉.你是一个很强的琴手,我也想你去第一小提琴,但是我无法安排到.而且第二小提琴也很重要,他们需要你来指导......"我连忙解释:"我没事的,没事的,今年的新生实力很强,他们很值得坐那个位置."
        话是这样说.难道教授这样开口我还说"我确实感到不舒服"吗?多少会感到失落.只是无可否认,一个人没有上进的心理,他/她的优秀程度一定是有限的.去年我坐在第一的第二排,私自盯着前面的位置很久了.想不到这次再次擦肩而过.
        我却又突然发觉了什么.或许是负担或压力少了吧.很多时候很多人的才华和潜力是不容易被看出来的,或者得不到很好的位置和时机去发挥.越是这个时候,渴望证明自己的动力就会越强.音乐成了失落的发源又是寻到自我宣泄的空间.
        还有未来.未来的实习,工作,毕业,考研/考G读M......莫名其妙地产生更多的担忧.

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    緒 Peter仔wrote:
    oh yeah~别烦着,沟女去
    Sept. 18

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